


Twist of Fate

by VioletTook



Series: Twist of Fate [1]
Category: Ed Sheeran (Musician)
Genre: Child Loss, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-07-14 22:03:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletTook/pseuds/VioletTook
Summary: When Kara meets her favorite musician she has no idea what fate has in store.





	1. Chapter 1

He was playing harder this entire show. He normally didn’t try to do this many fast tracks. His fans mainly loved his ballads. It gave them comfort so they could either sleep or fantasize a romantic encounter with the superstar and seemingly overnight sensation that was Ed Sheeran.   
To the groupies, he was just another celebrity to add to their track lists of bedded rockstars. To the fangirls, they claimed to see the man, but they only saw an unclothed man sitting on their bed wearing nothing but a guitar and serenading them with his music and again with his body between the sheets. I saw the man who loved music and felt that he had to connect to the world using his gifts because it was the only way that life made sense. He had the gift of storytelling with his acoustic guitar. One day I hoped we could meet just so I could tell him how much his music has affected and changed my life in such a seemingly short time. That was how I knew. I was so enveloped in his music most of the time that it was how I noticed that he was trying too hard not to show he was hurting. He coped the only way he knew how: through his music and pouring himself into it. I guessed it was his way of supergluing the pieces back together of whatever was breaking him. That was how he wanted his fans to see him on stage. He didn’t want them to see the truly raw pain, but just enough of it in his lyrics and the way he played his guitar. Tonight would be a song on his next album like Taylor Swift. They allowed their fans to feel what they do on their terms, but whether it’s a goodbye or a hello, it’s always beautiful. Many, not unlike myself at one point, had wished for them to be a couple. It wasn’t a friend-zoned thing, but a mutual agreement to respect the current relationship status and keep it strong. They were best friends and that meant more to them than romance.   
He began “Sing” with his usual involvement of the audience, but I was still entranced in watching his act. He was good at hiding from others, but then he had lots of practice and I didn’t. I tried to hide from the world and fly under the radar because if I could do that I didn’t have to get close to anyone. If I wasn’t close to anyone, then no one could get hurt.I didn’t have to lose anyone and they didn’t have to worry about getting hurt when I didn’t open up to them and life could go on. People like them were good at that, but no matter how I tried someone always got in my personal circle and tried to make me care again. I would leave and people got hurt. People like them were always touring and working so they could at least bury it in their work. I didn’t have that luxury. That’s why I lived alone and avoided relationships.   
This was usually his finale’ song, but the last 4 weeks of shows it wasn’t and I was wondering if there was reasons for that, but I decided to just enjoy his voice despite it. The beauty of who he was and what he could do with music was something to behold, even his physique was attractive. His voice was hypnotizing with a comfort, security, and honesty like none other. I was two rows away on his right side. This had been my chosen spot for the last 4 shows. I knew I was technically in the “groupie” rows, but I cared not. Like usual, I was right and his finale tonight was another of his older songs and one of my favorites: “I’m a Mess”. It was a fitting song even though the rest of the audience couldn’t see it.  
Ooh I’m a mess right now  
Inside out  
Searching for a sweet surrender  
But this is not the end  
I can’t work it out  
How?  
Going through the motions  
Going through us  
And though I’ve known it for the longest time  
And all my hope  
All my words are all over written on the signs  
But you’re my road walking me home  
Home, home, home, home  
See the flames inside my eyes  
It burns so bright I wanna feel your love  
Oh oh easy baby maybe I’m a light  
Before tonight I wanna fall in love  
And put your faith in my stomach  
I messed up this time  
Late last night  
Drinking to suppress devotion  
With fingers intertwined  
I can’t shake this feeling now  
We’re going through the motions  
Hoping you’d stops  
And though I’ve only caused you pain  
You know with all of my words  
With were always beloved  
Although all the lies spoke  
When you’re my road walking me home  
Home, home, home, home  
See the flames inside my eyes  
It burns so bright I wanna feel your love  
Oh easy baby maybe I’m a light  
Before tonight I wanna fall in love  
And put your faith in my stomach  
And for how long I’ve loved my lover  
For how long I’ve loved my lover  
And now, now, for how long, long I’ve loved my lover  
Now, now, for how long, long I’ve loved my lover  
Now now, for how long, long I’ve loved my lover  
(And I feel loved)  
For how long, long I’ve loved my lover  
Feel it all over now, now  
And I feel love  
For how long, long I’ve loved my lover  
Feel it all over now, now  
And I feel love  
For how long, long I’ve loved my lover  
Feel it all over now, now  
And I feel love  
For how long, long I’ve loved my lover  
Feel it all over now, now  
And I feel love  
For how long, long I’ve loved my lover  
I feel it all over now, now  
And I feel love  
For how long, long I’ve loved my lover, now now  
For how long, long I’ve loved my lover  
Right as he began the song, he started to close his eyes and fade into the depths of his own memories. This was the face he wore that said he was reliving the memories that probably inspired the very song he was sharing with us. It was beautiful, both the moment and the song. I started to sing along to myself…and to him. As the first chorus kicked in, his blue eyes turned to my direction and pinned my green ones into place like superglue to the floor. I felt my breath catch as, for that moment, it was me and him singing to one another. A tear escaped my eyes as this feeling and sensation had not occurred to me in four years at the funeral. The second verse kicked in and he turned to the rest of the screaming audience and I was able to breathe. About the time I got my composure, time had spun too fast and I was pinned again by his eyes and the second chorus crashed into me like a tidal wave. This time when he turned to me with those piercing eyes, he directed his security to come get me. The song paused before he started the lyrics for the chorus again and while many girls would have blushed, screamed, or laughed like an idiot, I was not one of those girls. I stood frozen in a feeling that I had not felt in years. Somehow, tonight, everything would change. I felt the girl next to me screaming and pushing me into the arms of security as he played the music on a loop. He was waiting for me.   
“He’s picking you!” The excitement with which she screamed held a touch of jealousy that almost bit through her excitement and disappointment dripped into it.   
“Huh?” That was all I managed to get out when the next thing I knew, his security had me on stage and the sound reverberated out of his loop pedal and the guitar was no longer in his hands. What was in his hands was a single red rose and memories flooded my mind as I remembered what he had done for the last 2 weeks of shows. He chose a dinner date for the evening and treated her to private meet and greet if she didn’t have a backstage pass. I was sure that the girls on the Bachelor weren’t as nervous as I was now. My hands shook feverishly as I stood in front of a million people and, most importantly, Ed. He stood by his microphone and the world disappeared as he spoke directly, and exclusively, to me.  
“Hello. What is your name?” His smile was so adorable and I must have been insane to hear a touch of nervousness in his voice. It was not the voice that normally held composure. It was somehow different and I wondered why for a moment before remembering I had to answer.   
“Kara, my name is Kara.” Suddenly my voice sounded more sure than his and more sure than I felt.   
“That’s a beautiful name. Well, Kara do you already have a backstage pass?” I shook my head.  
“Well, Kara, will you take this rose and meet me after the show and join me for dinner this evening?” I nodded. We stepped once toward one another at the same time and at the same pace.  Suddenly, a quick vision flew across my mind of a him in a tux, Scottish thistles, and a sunny day.  It went as fast as it came.  His touch brought me back to reality.  He took my hand in his and he tenderly turned it to place the rose in it.  He smiled up at me as he kissed my hand and gave me a quick embrace after and motioned for me to go with his security.  
The short walk to his room was automatic, I wasn’t really paying attention.  I was aware the security was talking to me, but I wasn’t aware enough to know what the topic was.  I assumed it was the standard, mindless, routine chatter of no stealing, stalking, etc.  I wondered what awaited me inside this rock star’s dressing room.  Would it be messy?  Would there be extra guitars and stuff laying around?  Would there be a mini buffet since we were supposed to be having dinner?  Thoughts of a sandwich platter and a case of beer crossed my mind, knowing him.  Maybe water bottles too.  Would there be extra clothes hanging around in there?  Was it huge or a glorified closet?  I wonder what it smelled like?  I wasn’t sure if I was going to completely enjoy my fifteen minutes of fame or not, but I was going to be optimistic and give it my best shot.  The security guard cleared his throat.  
“Huh?” I snapped out of my thoughts.  
“I need your ticket to verify that you, indeed, do not have a backstage pass.”  
“Oh, okay.” I held my phone that showed my ticket master account.  He scanned the barcode on the screen.  
“Okay. Thank you.”  He opened a door that I hadn’t noticed with Ed’s name on it and unlocked it.  
“Now, you will be in here for about two hours before he is finished with his guests.  There is a bathroom inside if you would like to freshen up as well as water with a fruit platter.  There is also free wifi to help you pass the time.  If you need anything at all, please press the call button by this door.  I’m locking the door so no one will disturb you. Ok?”  
“Yes, thank you.”  He left me to myself. It felt odd being alone after being in a crowd for so long, but it was also comforting in its own way. For the first time, I had a chance to take a deep breath and take in my surroundings. The room was about the size of a midsize bedroom. There was a door on the opposite side that led to a bathroom. Next to that door was a small coat rack with a couple of t-shirts and what looked to be a hoodie. I laughed to myself since he always had one. I noticed a camera above it in the corner of the ceiling. I shyly smiled and waved at it awkwardly. There was a poster on the adjoining wall of the Ramones and an older man. Below it was a futon couch with a backpack on one corner. Two pairs of sneakers were under the couch.  On the other side of the futon was a guitar. I figured it was the one he liked for the “X” album given the sticker in the bottom corner. To my right, the wall was bare. To my left, there was a small, mirrored dressing table with an empty beer can and half drank water bottle. About twenty unopened fan letters lay on top. Next to that was a table with some fruit and tea biscuits with some bottled water in a fresh bowl of ice. I sat down at the table and decided to check my appearance. The woman I saw staring back at me was an act of what was left. I didn’t love makeup like I used to, but I wore enough to cover up the scars of sleepless nights and the reminder of the love that I once had and no longer did. I always kept enough in my purse to make sure it stayed hidden, not for others, but for myself.  It had haunted me for four years. None of my clients knew and no one except my old family had seen it. I’d always loved the Batman comics, but somehow Two Face always stared back in the morning when I got ready.  For now, it didn’t stare back. I reapplied my lipstick and decided to go wash my hands. When I got to the bathroom I found a note on the mirror. I picked it up.  
“Hello. I figured while you wait, you could perhaps help me with something. There are two shirts on the rack. You may keep one and I have notified security so don’t worry. They aren’t being sold yet. I can’t decide on one and whichever you pick I’ll sell. You may keep the one you choose though. If you need a different size I’ll have one in the truck for you. Thank you.  
-Ed S.”  
I washed my hands and then went to look at the shirts in question. There was a green one with his picture on it and his guitar. The other was black with a green graffiti British flag and “Sheer love” written across it. They were both small so I went with the black one. I wondered if I should put it on. I was wearing his multiply t-shirt and black distressed jeans with my lime green Seahawks high tops. I decided to stay in the one I had on and set the other next to his fan mail so he could sign it for me since I carried a silver sharpie with me. I eyeballed the fruit for a minute and decided on a couple of strawberries.  I ate them in silence and went to my Pinterest to pass the rest of the time, noting that I had an hour left. I didn’t know how I’d killed an hour already, but it didn’t matter. He’d be here soon and my fifteen minutes of fame would end. At least I got a shirt and a rose out of it. The rose sat in my lap while I scrolled through Pinterest. At least that was comforting. Well, that and the fact that I could at least thank him personally. This would be the best fifteen minutes I’d had since the accident. And just maybe after this fifteen minutes, I might actually be able to sleep. For now, I’d wait and see.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All I know is we said 'Hello' and Everything has changed. Disclaimer: The song credit goes to the orginal writers and owners. I do not know either Ed or Taylor personally.

The time passed a little too quickly, but there is a saying that all good things must come to an end. I knew that all too well to be too true. Everything good in my life had come to an abrupt end. It was almost silly to think that would change, but it was a hope. Maybe it was a fool’s hope, but it didn’t stop me from hitching a breath in anticipation when a knock came on the door.  
“Come in.” It felt awkward saying that to a person who was not entering my own personal space, but his own and he didn’t need permission. It was pretty sweet of him to do it anyway.  I saw glimpses of cameras flashing as his security quickly ushered him inside. The door locked behind him and then we were completely alone and I suddenly hoped I wasn’t invading his girlfriend’s territory by being here. He must have read my mind because by having the reaction I did I had made this really awkward.  
“Hello, I’m sorry for the long wait. I hope it wasn’t too bad.” He began to walk towards me so I started to also as I also said, “Hi, and no you are completely fine. It was quite comfortable actually, but thank you. I like being alone.” I anticipated a hand shake, but not the tender and friendly embrace he actually gave me. He must have noticed because his response was quick. I hoped it didn’t seem awkward again.  
“Sorry, I’m so used to the hugs now. It feels odd not to anymore. I hope you don’t mind me invading your space.” He gave me an innocently cute, shy smile as he put a hand in the pocket of his jeans and ruffled his hair with the other.  
“You are completely fine. I’m just honored to be here.” It was the honest truth because I was despite the awkwardness and unfamiliarity. I smiled, and even laughed at his innocence.  This man had seen more action than I ever would.  It was almost comical how he didn’t act like it. The silence should still have been awkward, but suddenly it wasn’t and yet I still felt the need to speak first.  
“So thank you for the shirt.” I gestured to the one that lay on the table. There was the awkwardness again.  
“I figured you might want to sign it, but I wasn’t expecting it. I love it.” I laughed a little as he sat down to sign it with a neon green marker from his own pocket. Of course he knew. Who wouldn’t? As soon as he signed it he handed it to me and I swear I felt electricity when our fingers brushed. I blushed as I put the shirt on top of my bag.  
“Its cool. So how was your day?  Did you like the show?” he laughed in a way that held more music than his guitar.  
“Actually my day was really good. I got a lot of productive things done and coming to that amazing set you played was my reward for it all.” I’d had two meetings today regarding future meet-ups and had both of them confirmed. The other good news was picking up my citizenship paper work, but he didn’t need to know that. He probably didn’t care anyway.  
“What was your favorite song?  Did I play it?”, he sat on one end of the couch and I sat about a foot away with only my bag between us.  He crossed one leg up casually to slightly turn towards me and I decided to mirror him.  
“Actually yes you did and I honestly didn’t think you would since you didn’t at your last four shows.” I laughed, embarrassed, after realizing what I’d confessed. “It’s ‘kiss me’ from your earlier album.” He didn’t even look phased at my stalker-like comment.  
“You look embarrassed and I don’t understand why.” He said with a smile, but his tone had a touch of seriousness to it. Before I could respond, he continued.  
“I picked you tonight because I’ve seen you at the last seven shows. I figured if you want to spend that kind of money just to hear me, then you would be worth sitting down with.  I almost picked you the last show, but I knew my mate wanted me to pick his sister.”  
“So, why me? Why am I so interesting?”    
“You’re more than a fan girl when you drop that kind of money on a regular basis.” He leaned his upper body in closer, genuinely perplexed and interested.  I didn’t think he’d ever looked cuter.  I knew why I did, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to explain it to someone who didn’t know me from Eve.  
“It’s a really long story.” I had to laugh a little awkwardly to make myself breathe.  
“That’s okay, I’m yours for the night.” He said, somehow keeping it cool and casual, but still truthfully interested.  I couldn’t help but blush at his wording choice. He never was one for a censored mouth.  
“Okay, maybe at dinner. Speaking of food, where are you taking me?” I laughed lightly, hoping he’d forget the subject.  
“Well, that’s up to you. But first, I usually take this time to play a song for someone that I am considering putting on the next record and try to get their input on it. I try to give them an exclusive chance to essentially hear the album before anyone else sort of. This time, if you’ll indulge me a favor, I’d like to play you something you have already heard, but it’s been on my mind since I knew I was picking you tonight. Is that all right?” He grabbed the “multiply” guitar next to the couch. What was I supposed to say? No? That was not going to happen since I loved hearing him sing. It took me out of my head. His voice brought a comfort I only got from him anymore.  
“Sure, I’d love that.” I leaned against his backpack so I could face him better while he tuned his guitar and hummed a familiar tune to himself for a minute. I could have seriously sat there for an eternity to just hear him hum, sing, and play. He played a little, almost to himself. I realized the song too late to say anything, not that I would, no matter how painful.  
All I knew this morning when I woke  
Is I know something now, know something now I didn’t before  
And all I’ve seen since 18 hours ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like  
I just want to know you better know you better know you better now  
I just want to know you better know you better know you better now  
I just want to know you better know you better know you better now  
I just want to know you know you know you  
Cause all I know is we said hello  
And your eyes look like coming home  
All I know is a simple name, everything has changed  
All I know is you held the door  
You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed  
And all my walls stood tall painted blue  
But I’ll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you  
And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind  
Making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel like  
I just want to know you better know you better know you better now  
I just want to know you better know you better know you better now  
I just want to know you better know you better know you better now  
I just want to know you know you know you  
Cause all I know is we said hello  
And your eyes look like coming home  
All I know is a simple name, everything has changed  
All I know is you held the door  
You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed  
Come back and tell me why  
I’m feeling like I’ve missed you all this time  
And meet me there tonight  
And let me know that it’s not all in my mind  
I just want to know you better know you better know you better now  
I just want to know you know you know you  
Cause all I know is we said hello  
And your eyes look like coming home  
All I know is a simple name, everything has changed  
All I know is he held the door  
You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed  
All I know is we said hello  
So dust off your highest hopes  
All I know is pouring rain  
And everything has changed  
All I know is a new found grace  
All my days, I’ll know your face  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed  
I was nearly paralyzed, my head swimming with confusion and questions as to why he picked this song. There was no doubt that it was true, but how much truth it held for us, at this moment, was my biggest issue. I was in such a trance by it all that I hadn’t noticed the tears that slid down my cheeks. I only even noticed when he brushed his shirtsleeve under my eyes. I jumped a bit at the unexpected act of tenderness. I hadn’t been this close to any man since I lost my husband, let alone in a dressing room alone with one. I didn’t let anyone get close to me anymore because if I did I had something to lose. Before I knew it, he was holding me in his arms and I pulled away out of habit and instinct.  
“I’m sorry.” I hurriedly stood up to look in the mirror and wipe away the evidence of the evident pain on my face. He stood as well before setting his guitar down. He came over to me and again tried to grab my arms lightly. I didn’t pull back this time, but looked up at him.  
“You’re apologizing for crying? Its all right to cry. Tears remind you you’re alive. Can I ask what’s wrong?” There was now a sadness and confusion on his own face.  
“Please forgive me if I’ve made you uncomfortable.” He pulled me gently into another embrace and I fell into his arms and surrendered, sobbing into his chest like a basket case. I knew he was probably wishing he’d picked a girl who wouldn’t bawl like a baby on him during a special meet and greet, but was it wrong of me to say that this felt safer and more wonderful than I had felt in years? I hadn’t even allowed myself to try to feel anything at all because this was all I ever felt when I tried. Just being alone with him felt almost like a betrayal since I had never really been with another man other than my husband. I had known that I would have to eventually move on, but now that the opportunity was on my doorstep I didn’t know how to respond, let alone accept it. I was an all or nothing person so I’d never developed a plan on how to give someone what was left of me since I was shattered and still broken.  
“Hey, what’s wrong?” His gentle hands rubbed my back while he rested his chin on my shoulder, trying to give me comfort.  
“You couldn’t have picked a better song. To be quite honest, you read my mind actually. I’m not used to having someone see right through me considering I never give anyone that opportunity. I know what the song meant when you wrote it and I guess I’m just wondering what the song means to you now because I don’t want to get the wrong idea.” I pulled away to look at him once again noticing the moisture from my face and I made sure that my past stayed well hidden beneath my makeup. I was beyond thankful that the horrors of that day didn’t show through. I turned to look at his face so I could read his compassionate gaze for my answer. He took a deep breath, almost a sigh, before deciding on his words.  
“I want to know if you’ll go out with me? I know we just met, but it’s the real reason for the rose and as I said I have thought about you for a while.” His hands dropped to my own. I really was having a Bachelor day.  
“What about your girlfriend?” I felt like I knew the answer before he gave it, but I wanted to be sure. I didn’t want to be a rebound or revenge, though, admittedly, I didn’t think he was capable of it anyway.  
“I can’t blame you, considering the press still thinks I’m seeing Natasha. I’ll give you one thing, you’re the first to comment on it. Granted, I haven’t really been interested in anyone else I have chosen. I can show you the texts that prove that’s not the case between us anymore. I have no interest in going into a situation where there is already doubt and I have nothing to hide, especially from you.” He really was full of surprises. He owed me nothing, hell he didn’t even know me, but here he was showing me his most intimate and heart wrenching of conversations between his now, former, girlfriend and himself. The baby that many suspected she was having was indeed on its way, but it was not his child. She stated clearly that she knew without a doubt it wasn’t his, but that it was the child of one of her groupies that she had had multiple “encounters” with and she wanted him to know the truth from her and not the press when she would announce it. I wondered, for a moment, when he would give the press his side as I read the shocking, but loving responses he’d given her. He was willing to forgive her and overlook it if she wanted him to raise the child as his own anyway. She was telling him the truth only as a reason to leave him. I didn’t really know him and didn’t know her at all, but I was never more disgusted to see a more pathetic excuse for a human being as I was at this moment. I couldn’t grasp how a person could treat any individual as carelessly as she did him in these last moments between them. I looked up from the phone to see angry tears slipping down his face now. If it was possible, my heart broke again and this time it was for him. This was the reason he had been tense for the last month. This was why singing his love songs hurt so bad. I returned his phone back to him, wondering how intimate he was going to be with me on the subject.  
“I’m not going to lie. That hurt worse than any relationship I have been in. I called her to try to talk her into staying so she could know I was serious when I said I would swallow it and stay by her side. I should have noticed that it was clearly not her intent in why she told me at all. I guess she figured if we broke up I would suddenly notice her getting media attention for the pregnancy and that is why she told me at all. I am just irritated that she decided to tell me this when she wouldn’t have to see my face. She could have at least Skyped me you know?” He leaned back with his hands closed over his face as he sighed in irritation at what she had done.  
“Yeah, I do get it. Does she know who the dad is? Like which one of her groupies could be fathering it?” His face told me he didn’t think it was one of them, but someone else she was covering for.  
“You don’t think she’s telling the truth about the dad do you? Who do you think it is?” I was reading him like he was the most fascinating book I’d ever seen.  
“No, I don’t. I do think she is covering for somebody. I have an idea of who, but I obviously can’t prove it or I would have already dealt with this. My other reason for calling her was that I wanted to know how deep the cuts ran and how much blood she was willing to spill before deciding it was too much. The irony of the whole thing is that she was worried about me doing this to her with one of my fangirls. Its like no matter how much I have learned from my lessons and mistakes it’s never good enough for some people. It’s always in the back of their mind. This is the mess that our managers and publicists are having to sort out and I know mine hasn’t been getting much sleep because of it. I am glad my shows and appearances are already booked because I would be dealing with that right now. I don’t see how this is going to end well for either of us because I don’t want to bad mouth her, especially publicly, but I know how it’s going to look for me: dead beat rockstar dad won’t give up music career for his child.” The sarcasm and pain that dripped form his voice as he said it sounded like it was all he could do not to scream. “I just don’t get it. I’ve dated more people than my best friend Taylor and yet it’s always the A-listers that want to burn me. They go wrong before the paparazzi can even get wind of it. Every time I have dated “normal” people it only goes wrong when I fuck it up. I’m going to pick up the pieces and take the lessons I have learned and only date normal girls. The public attention is more than I want and I can’t do it anymore. I’m done trying to be this public only person that’s not me. I can’t do hard events in my life and public opinions and criticism with it too. All I know is it’s been a month and a half and this is still not sorting out. If I wasn’t on tour right now, this would be really bad because at least I can escape into that for a couple of hours. I am really dreading my radio appearance in three weeks. But enough with the dark and down, where do you want to go to dinner?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner conversation. Disclaimer: As always, I do not know Ed Sheeran personally. These events only happen in my head.

My temporary apartment was at the corner of the street and we walked there in silence. I’d allowed him to hold my hand as we did so since I figured he needed it after spilling his heart to me.  I didn’t know what would happen or how tonight would end, but I knew from personal experience that a home cooked meal could work wonders and indeed everything had changed. Neither of us cared for being in public so we figured he was brave enough to enjoy my cooking. I was suddenly glad I’d made enough since I’d expected to come home and have enough for leftovers later. It was a comfortable silence between us as we walked up the stairs and into my apartment. I wasn’t sure what he’d think, but I kinda hoped he’d at least be comfortable. I unlocked the door and let him in.    
“Make yourself at home. The tv has cable and Netflix if you want to watch anything. The bathroom is down the hall on the right.” I hung my coat on the back of the door and placed my bag on the floor below. I wasn’t going to act any different since he had hinted that he was interested in seeing me. If he truly was, then he’d see me like this anyway so there was no sense in hiding.  
Ed’s Point of View   
She has a nice flat and the place smelled like really good tri-tip. I looked around as I decided to take off my hoodie and I hung it where she did.  The sectional next to the door was not old, but it was worn in enough to be comfortable. The tv in front was much newer. There were no pictures anywhere, but some various plants were in the room. The dining room was right off the kitchen connecting it and the living room. There looked to be a small porch off of it.  The dining table was a small glass one with a simple fruit arrangement in the center.  
“You have a nice home.” I decided to sit and wait at the table and couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the idea that my mum would be so happy to see me actually eat at a table that wasn’t a formality. She noticed and gave me a questioning look, but she wore a smile.  
“Is everything okay?” She almost laughed herself. She was beautiful, whether she cried or smiled.  
“My mum hasn’t seen me sit at a table in years when it wasn’t a holiday or a serious discussion. I was thinking about how excited she would get right now at the idea.” I started to fold my hands with my back straight and a serious face. She busted up laughing. I knew how it would sound if I said it, but there was something wonderful about having a woman cook for me again. I felt normal again, like I wasn’t the rock star, but I was just me. I could get used to spending quiet evenings at home again. Takeout or her cooking, I would be happy with either one.  It was so quiet and I wasn’t used to it anymore. I was always around people. It was nice to be able to sit in my head for a while and just enjoy the amazing smell of whatever was cooking.  
“So what are you making, love?”  I leaned on the table with my head on my hands, watching her.  
“My mom’s pot roast with potatoes and roasted veggies. I just put some rolls in the oven. I’ve also got ice cream if you want dessert.” She finished stirring the pot and turned to face me, her hip leaning against the counter. My God, she was stunning to watch.  
“So, what’s yours?” I asked. She was uncomfortable almost instantly as she dug for something in her fridge. “I’m not sure what you mean.” I wasn’t sure if she was serious or trying to avoid the subject.  
“What’s your story? You’ve been at my last seven shows. I’m just curious as to why. That’s not something I normally see.  And, no, I don’t think you’re a stalker, I promise.”  I discovered she was digging for drinks as she pulled out a bottle of red wine. She pulled two glasses from the cupboard.  
“I was afraid of that. Well, since the conversation is unavoidable, and I keep my word, this will require alcohol. I’m glad I stocked the fridge.”  A timer went off on the counter.  
“Let me get that and I’ll tell you, but please don’t think I’m crazy or desperate when I tell you, okay?”  I pondered her word choice for a moment before nodding. Something told me this wasn’t a happy story. She walked over to the stove where the pot was and before she could get the lid open I was at her side.  I stood directly behind her and gently placed my hands on her arms when I felt her tense. I turned her to face me and took her hands in mine. I let go of one to tilt her chin up so I could look into her green eyes as I said my next words. They were so clear from her tears and what looked to be more, ready to escape, but they were beautiful. I also noted fear in them as I almost got lost in those eyes when I made a mental note to kick myself in the ass later for causing this.  
“Please don’t feel like you have to tell me anything. You have never confirmed that you have any interest in dating me and you don’t know me anymore than I know you. You owe me nothing.  Tell me what you want to tell me, if anything. This night is just about me getting to know you enough to see if there is a connection and to connect to my fans. I’m deeply sorry if I’ve hurt you at all.” I continued staring into her eyes with our bodies frozen as they were. Her eyes studied my own, searching me to see if there was anything false in my words. Just when I thought I was going to get no response, she did just that in a way I’d never seen coming. She kissed me. She closed her eyes and leaned up and our lips touched in the most gentle and firm kiss. I knew I felt my breath catch in the process. As many kisses as I’d had, this one stood out. It lingered, but we didn’t make out and it was too sure to be a light peck. In a weird way it was one of the best kisses I’d ever had. It was also one of the shortest and it didn’t linger long enough for me. I could’ve done nothing but kiss her for the rest of the night. All too soon the kiss ended and she pulled away to get around me. I was suddenly a mess of confusion and shock. I vaguely processed her throw a large glass of red wine straight back like a shot. Before I knew it my body woke up and my legs buckled beneath me like a lovestruck school girl. I caught myself before I smacked my head into the stove and sent dinner flying. She started to pour herself another glass.  
“Okay, hold up, now it’s my turn to be thoroughly confused.  What was that for?” She threw another glass back before sitting down herself.  
“Okay, I get it. I’m the poster child for being drunk and I’m all for it, but before we keep playing shots please tell me what that was about.” I pulled the bottles just out of reach before sitting next to her and taking her free hand into mine again.  
“Please, love, let me in on it.” I must have sounded desperate at the moment, but I didn’t care because I was.  
“That was your answer.” She said it in a very matter-of-fact, but this time her walls crumbled a little and her face betrayed her. I’d read her right in seeing the fear of loss in her eyes.  
“My answer to which question, darling?  Is that a yes to you dating me?” Please let it be the second. I want to hold you in my arms and calm the storm raging in those eyes. I wanted to feel those lips against mine again.  
She stood and walked over to the cupboard and grabbed each of us a plate of food before coming back and sitting down. It was almost automatic in the way that she did it. I poured us both a glass of wine and she began her story.  
“It’s been 4 years. I lost my family in 2016. It was January 31st and we were going out of town on a family trip. As we were leaving Seattle, a truck hit us on the driver’s side and sent us rolling. I woke up 3 days later in Seattle hospital to the news that I not only miscarried, but that my husband and our other 2 were gone also.  My mother-in-law told me the news. I was paid for time off for four weeks to recover and when I got back to work, I quit. I worked from home for about a year doing billing for 3 doctor’s offices before doing youtube management. I’d gone from working 3 jobs to doing one full time. I came to Europe for the first time on our honeymoon and we’d loved it so much and often talked about moving here. Most of my youtube clients were here so I decided to move here out of convenience. I couldn’t live in the states anymore and I wanted to be as far away from his family as I could. I fly back once a month to see my mom and thats it. I tried to make a long story short.” She gave a half-hearted laugh, but I could tell it bothered her to talk about it and I didn’t blame her. I suddenly understood why she didn’t want to talk about it at the gig. It wasn’t the place. This was a dinner conversation. I realized then also that it was the anniversary of the accident today. I definitely wanted to know her better and to be the one who could comfort her, though I knew I could never replace what she lost. I knew that by her opening up to me like this that she was saying she wanted to try and finally move on with her life. She’d come here for a new start and I was her chance. I should have cared about the weight that would fall on my shoulders at that point, but I wasn’t even worried about it. I said the first thing that I could think of to say.   
“I’m sorry if I pushed you into that. I had no idea. I’m not completely sure what to say.” I felt so much for her in that moment. I couldn’t believe I’d poured my own problems onto her like I had. That was something she did not need, especially today of all days.   
“Please don’t apologize. Its time. I bared my soul because I wanted to. I need to if I’m going to try and have a relationship again, especially with you and I want to. I want to try, but just so we’re clear going into this you are the first man I’ve said yes to since the accident. I’ve been with no one else.” This woman could not stop taking me by surprise. I couldn’t understand how a woman that beautiful hadn’t had a date in 4 years, unless she didn’t want one.   
“I’m assuming you’ve had offers, but you said no, am I right?” I reached across the table to offer her my hand. I felt better when she took it and nodded.   
“May I ask why me? You’ve had offers, but I’m your first ‘yes’ in 4 years and I’m assuming you mean physically as well. I’d like to know why you would say no to them, but yes to me. I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, I just genuinely want to know. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” I gave her hand a gentle squeeze as I noticed her blush at the reference to us possibly sleeping together. I once again hoped I hadn’t made her too uncomfortable. I didn’t want her to think that was all I thought about.   
“Well, you’re right in your assumption. I have not been with anyone in any way, shape, or form in 4 years. I didn’t say yes for your career or because you remind me of him, though I’ll admit you do in ways. I guess I’m saying yes because you might be the only person who understands what it is to be shattered with a need to superglue the pieces back together. Well, that and you’re not looking for a one night stand.” I could tell she was trying to lighten the mood with the last part of her answer and I smiled for her. I didn’t know how she’d seen that in me, but a mental note to ask another day. Her answer hadn’t surprised me and I figured after everything tonight, nothing would. She’d somehow eaten all her food through that and she’d done it without breaking again. She had to have been one of the strongest people I’d ever met. I got up and took her other hand in mine as well as I looked into her glass coated eyes.   
“If we do this, we do it at your speed and no other way. I’m not going to even begin to try and replace him, but I can promise to do everything in my power to not hurt you.” I pulled her into my arms as she let herself fall into me, letting out pain that was held in for all those years. Without dropping her I maneuvered onto my knees and was able to find the leverage to pick her up and I carried her into the living room to sit on the couch as I held her in my arms on my lap, stroking her hair and humming lightly to soothe her as she cried into my shoulder. Before I knew it I was crying myself because I knew loss well and we cried together for the loves we’d both lost. I dried my eyes in her hair and kissed the back of her head softly as her shaking slowly began to stop. There was no telling how much time had passed, but I was going to make sure she was okay. I began to pull away just enough to notice she had cried herself to sleep. I knew I wasn’t willing to let go of her just yet so I rocked her gently in my arms until I knew she was sound asleep. I kissed her tears away and decided to hum Tenerife Sea as I carried her to her bed and laid her beneath the sheets, removing her shoes as I did so and I placed the beside her bed. I left the room long enough to clean up the kitchen, turn off the lights, and lock the door. I texted Stuart to let him know where I was. He was used to me sleeping on couches. I decided to check on her again before crashing on the couch. She looked so much more peaceful now. I went to her side and made sure she was warm enough and kissed her temple gently. I turned to walk out when I felt her hand catch my own.   
“Please stay with me.” Before I could ask what she meant she began to tug the blankets back. I thought she couldn’t shock me. I stepped toward her again.  
“Are you sure?” I asked, rubbing her hand.   
“Yes. There’s some sweats in the bottom dresser drawer.” I walked over to where she was talking about and found them and a clean shirt. I took off my shoes and placed them next to the dresser before I changed into them, making sure she was turned. As I climbed into bed I took off my watch and glasses and put them on the nightstand. As I turned to face her, she snuggled into me, her body full on against mine facing me as well. I wrapped my arms around her once again and kissed her forehead as we both drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be kind and leave reviews. Feel free to also leave requests. There is not really a fandom I won't write for.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mornings. Disclaimer: I do not know Ed Sheeran personally.

I woke up with my usual headache and nausea.  I’d clearly polished off another  bottle of wine.  I rolled over onto my back, rubbing my face when I heard the light sound of snoring next to me.  I was confused until I realized where I was last night.  I made note of my clothes before letting out a sigh of relief.  The pale light in the room told me, once again, I’d only slept a few hours.  I silently prayed that I hadn’t talked in my sleep as I untangled myself from his lean, colorful arms. He looked so innocent, laying there in nothing but sweatpants and his tattoos. His hair was a matted mess around his face and it was all I had not to laugh at how childlike he was when his mouth wasn’t running. I pull the blankets around him as I had done once to my own children before going to grab my robe off the back of the bathroom door. I went to my closet and pulled out my guitar.  I walked to my kitchen to start a pot of tea and sat down at my table, noting how clean everything was.  He was too sweet.  I pulled my hair back into a low, messy bun and tuned my guitar, humming a few familiar chords as I did.  This had been my therapy since the accident.  I usually just played whatever came to me until I felt better.  I was definitely country this morning as I played through Keith Urban, Tracy Byrd, and I was singing through Leann Rimes’ “Probably wouldn’t be this way” when I closed my eyes and broke down singing into my guitar.    
Ed’s POV  
I woke up to beautiful music and an empty bed as last night came crashing into my mind like a hurricane.  I rubbed my scruffy face as I got up to investigate the music, noting that I was definitely going to need a shower.  I walked down the soft hallway to the kitchen and I stood in the frame, casually watching her in her trance.  The songs were unfamiliar, but wickedly beautiful in their own way.  The grief in her voice told me what was on her mind this morning.  She was beyond beautiful to watch and her voice was pretty amazing too.  The last song I recognized.  She started “Guiding Light” and it took all I had not to sing with her.  She had no idea I was in the room, let alone watching her and I knew first hand what that could do to startle someone.  By the time she did notice me she didn’t even act like I expected, rather she just got louder and I watched her play her heart out at her private gig, truly performing for one person and it wasn’t me.  This was her letting her emotions out in a way that didn’t involve bottles upon bottles of wine.  It oddly felt like watching myself.  I’d been in that place many times. Music was therapy.  It was cheaper too.  I walked into the kitchen, careful not to interrupt and made us two cups of tea as the pot beeped.  She kept jamming out as I did so.  She was really brilliant with that guitar.  I noted it was one like my own.  I wondered if it was personal choice.  For a moment, the celebrity in me wondered if she’d bought it because of me.  Either way it was the sound of those acoustics that made me love them.  They were beautiful no matter what you did to them.  I placed a cup by her and sat across from her to sip at mine, yawning as I did so.  I scratched at my beard as she set the guitar on the table.    
“So what do I owe you for the amazing set?” She sipped at her tea.  
“I reckon some cooked fajitas oughta suffice.” She crossed her legs and leaned on the table, holding her tea with both hands.  
“Fair enough. Tonight?  My place?” I mirrored her, though slightly different with one leg under my knee.  
“I’ve got some errands to run today, but sure.  I’d like that.  I hope I didn’t wake you up too early.  I’m not used to having company.  If I did, I’m sorry.” She blushed slightly. I had to laugh silently to myself at the fact that I was in her flat and she was apologizing to me.   
“Nah, when I get to sleep in a real bed, I tend to sleep hard.  Hell, that was so beautiful.  I wouldn’t mind if it had.  When did you learn to play?”  
“My husband practiced music on the side.  He taught me.  I play almost every morning.  I just pick it up and play whatever comes to mind.”  
“What’s your favorite song to play just because?”  
“Umm… if I want to challenge myself some of your older music.  If I just want to play for the hell of it, I like the blues and country music from the 50’s to 80’s.  Sad music makes me feel better.  Is that weird?” She started giggling into her tea, trying not to spill it.  
“No, that’s not weird at all.  It’s the same for me.  I’m not big on crying on shoulders and all that.” I smirked, she knew what I meant at the reference to the previous night.  She shyly smiled back.  
“Yeah, it’s awfully painful innit?” I laughed at the sarcasm in such a non sarcastic thing as she playfully mocked me.  Her presence was humbling and familiar despite how little time we’d known each other.  
“So what do you like to play when you’re not in the studio or writing your own music?” She got up to make herself another cup.  
“I d’know.  I’m either writing for an album or mixing songs and freestylin’.”  
“Gonna be breaking into other people’s tunes when I chase it and replace it with an elephant in the room with a facelift.  Into another rapper’s shoes using new laces?” She was giggling again and I smiled at the twist on my old lyrics as she said them so matter of factly.  
“Well I guess you could say that.  Sometimes I’m not necessarily trying to remix, I just tend to go on tangents and then it sort of happens.”   
“I know what you mean.  That’s usually how my mornings are.  I start it thinking one song and by the time I get to my tea and morning routine I’m across the globe musically, sometimes combining songs.” She got up to refill her cup and mine as well.  
“Do you just jam out in the morning or is this a multiple times a day thing?” She handed me my cup back before throwing some bread in the toaster.  She gestured the bag at me and I nodded.  
“Sometimes, but mostly just mornings.  It helps me clear my head for the day and I play more if I have a busier day or a lot on my mind.” She pulled out some jam and set it on the table.  The difference in her from last night and this morning was exactly that; day and night.  Music was such amazing therapy and I wondered for a moment if it was the same for those around me before and after I wrote songs.  I’d have to ask Murray and Stu.  The toast popped up and she sat back down as I came to realize something in my thoughts.  
“Was today long or short?” I wasn’t normally a breakfast guy, but I was never one to turn down food; or booze for that matter.  
“For my playing?” I nodded.  “It was longer I’ll admit.  I have a lot of errands today.  But enough about me, what about you?”  
Kara’s POV  
There it was.  The interview face.  It was the face of practice, but not rehearsed.  The careful thought of his time today, and probably the rest of the week.  He was often asked my question, but I knew part of the answer.  This was his break before going on tour for another six months.  He’d be off for a little over two weeks.  As his eyes finished reading the date book inside his head, I pondered if our dating would last through that and pushed it aside to focus on his response.  He began preparing his toast as he also began his response.  
“Umm… I’ve got radio this coming week and a brunch interview on Sunday.  I’m off tour for almost 3 weeks, but there’s a lot of radio and promo in the mornings.  Other than that I am available for whatever and no plans yet.” He took a bite of toast and drank his tea as he spoke, looking directly at me.    
“Are you saying you want to spend the day with me?  It’s not going to be exciting.” I chose a smirk and a slightly playful tone as I asked.  
“Well, being ‘normal’ and being ordinary is a luxury for someone who is constantly touring.  I was saying I wanted to spend the weekend getting to know you.  After all, you come to a lot of shows.  And you did agree to date me.” I chuckled as he managed to say it all with a mouthful of food and without being disgusting.  
“Well, if you’re not afraid to be seen publicly with me, then I’d love the company.  I’m eager to know you too.  As a person, just Ed.  Not the musician I’ve grown fond of watching.”  
“Great.  So what are we doing today?”  
“I’m picking up the keys to my new house and finalizing some moving-related details, furniture and stuff.” I finished the last of my tea and toast before taking all of our dishes to the sink.  
“You’re not packed yet?” He seemed confused as his face scrunched up in curiosity, truly intrigued.  
“No, I want my new furniture picked out before I decide what goes with me.  I don’t like clutter.” I smiled and laughed shyly, playing with my hands.  He got up to stride over to where I was and took my hands into his.  
“Then I will definitely help in any way I can.” He gave me a genuine smile and I leaned in for a gentle kiss as he cupped my face.  
“I need to shower and get ready first, then we’ll get on with the day.”  
“Okay I’ll get the dishes cleaned up and go get my car, since it’s just a short walk to the venue from last night.” I kissed him once more before departing from his soft and tender touch.  As I wandered around to put my guitar away and pick out my clothes I couldn’t help but glance in the mirror.  It was obvious to see and he hadn’t said a word.  He was probably being polite though he had to have seen the remainder of that fateful day across my face to see.  The makeup had worn off in my sleep.  More than anything, I hated Two Face as he stared back at me fiercely.  He was my secret, now exposed to Ed.  I glared back at him before readying myself for the day ahead. I had been wearing a lot of black lately so I chose something a little more bright as I grabbed my favorite red V-neck sweater and jeans. It would be cold today so I grabbed my houndstooth scarf and thick knitted blazer. I would be running errands so my black oxford boots would suffice. I kept my makeup minimal with a full coverage face and lipgloss with mascara.   
As I grabbed my purse and trench coat off the coat rack at my door I turned my lights off and headed down the stairs to find Ed waiting on me with the door opened like the gentleman he was. I did not know what lay before us, but somehow it all felt safer and a bit more interesting knowing we’d do it together. I gave him a quick hug and a kiss before going out the door and climbing into the passenger seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and any requests.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cats, clumsiness, and old habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the feedback and interest. i apologize for the long awaited update. Moving a lot and finally got the dust settled enough to find my writing stuff. Disclaimer: I do not know Ed Sheeran or anyone associated with him. I just love his music.

We talked and threw jokes back and forth all the way to Ed’s. When we finally got there, I left my purse in the car and helped him empty the back seat of his Mini into his London home. In the midst of bringing his things in I noticed that I had his munchies bag so I placed the bag on the counter and started unloading it into the cupboards before noticing a few glasses in the sink. I quickly washed them and put them away before looking for a trash can. By the time I found it I heard a low chuckle coming from the doorway and looked up to see Ed leaning his left shoulder casually in the door frame, hands in his pockets and a smirk on his boyish face.   
“What?” I rested my elbows on the counter, leaning over it and utterly confused.   
“Nothing, just make yourself at home.” It was playful in tone and he crossed his arms in the same manner. I stood up and leaned my right hip against the counter I’d been leaning on before realizing what I had been doing.   
“Bloody hell I’m sorry!” I couldn’t suppress the laugh that slipped out as I mentally re checked everywhere I had put things away, almost second guessing where I had put it all.   
“No, it’s fine, love. You were married for a bit. Old habits die hard.” He was just genuinely amused at my innocent actions.   
“Did I at least put everything where it goes?” I put my hands over my face, trying not rub my makeup off.   
“If not, then it has a new home,” He pushed off the frame and walked slowly toward me and carefully removed my hands, our bodies mere inches from each other. He placed a hand under my chin to look him in the eyes.   
“As I said, make yourself at home because I really don’t mind.” His playful eyes turned serious and I should have been nervous or afraid, but I didn’t. I felt strangely safe here with him. Our gazes locked softly, reading each other to see if the other would move first. After a few moments of this, he did first. He lowered his lips carefully to mine, tender and assuring. It was one of those moments that I knew would be so simple and intimate, not realizing how much I needed the assurance. I couldn't shake the feeling, like I was walking on a tight rope; afraid and nervous but ready to try, knowing a safety net was beneath me that made me braver. We were soon interrupted with a rubbing against our legs.   
We looked down in time to see a gray-striped tabby cat making his presence known and wanting his daddy's attention. He had clearly missed him, and by the look on Ed's face it was definitely mutual.   
“Graham!” He bent to pick him up as I stepped back to lean my backside against the counter, my hands on either side of me, to simply enjoy the adorable sight in front of me.   
“I think you were missed.” I began looking for the other cat I knew he had, from Instagram. He coddled the feline like a small child being cuddled by its mother. It was so normal and sweet to witness. A brief image of him holding a child of their own flashed in her mind, and she stifled it down; she refused to have another crying episode in front of him. Their relationship would never get to that point, let alone the fact that he'd most likely think she was psychotic for images of their children less than 24 hours of knowing each other. The cat purred so loudly it was a wonder the neighbors didn't hear it.   
“I'll just be a few minutes getting showered and changed. Make yourself at home and feel free to look around. Suki is around here somewhere.” He kissed her quickly on the cheek before carrying Graham up the stairs to the third floor that clearly led to the master bed and bath. She figured it was as good as a time as any to do exactly that and explore a bit.   
His flat had 3 stories to it: the first was primarily a garage, but before climbing the stairs I had noticed a door behind the staircase. My guess was that was his personal and private music studio. As I wandered around the main floor, I looked around the modern kitchen and observed an attached sitting room overlooking the front garden area. I loved the open floor plan of it, perfect for hosting his crazy parties I figured. Across from the top of the previous staircase was the staircase that led to the third floor. I explored further down the hallway and found another sitting room, slightly darker in tones, a couple of black couches facing a large TV that was mounted on the wall. There was a redwood cabinet below and a bar with an empty glass cabinet against the opposite wall. At the very end of the hallway was a guest bedroom with adjoining bath. There was an additional half bathroom opposite the bedroom door. I decided to wait for him in the kitchen so I started my way back in that direction, staring at my phone. About halfway down the hall, I walked right into Ed and fell to the floor.   
“Shit! My bad. Are you okay?” He crouched down to help me up and I took his forearms to pull myself up.   
“I'm fine.” I dusted myself off and adjusted my clothes.   
“I'm sneakier that I give myself credit for.” I couldn't help the burst of laughter that came out of me as we walked back to the car. As we got in the car and he locked the garage I was still laughing, he must have thought I was crazy because he inquired with an amused confusion, “what is so funny, love?”  
He began to turn the color of his hair, holding back his own laughter, his freckles coming to life on his pale face. I finally caught my breath to speak.   
“For the first time in my life I'm not the one apologizing for knocking myself, or anything else, over. I'm the clumsiest person on the planet and always have been.” My stomach ached horribly from laughing so hard and so much, but I couldn't help but keep a playful smirk on my face as he started laughing.   
Ed's POV  
She really was a selfless person, probably to a fault. She didn't know I was laughing at all the times she had probably hurt herself, or someone else hurt her, but she had thought there was something wrong with her. She couldn't have been more flawless to me. The only thing I could see wrong with her was the way she viewed herself.   
“Well love, I reckon I'm a clumsy person myself. That one was on me. I was the one being sneaky. To be fair, I've nearly killed Taylor with my clumsiness.” It had happened a couple of times that I'd been fucking around with my swords on her plane and had nearly impaled her with them. Kara blushed as I spoke to her, her giggles slowly subsiding. She had no idea how beautiful she was, makeup on or otherwise. I knew why she wore it: to hide the distinguished scar across her face, evidence of her worst memory. Though, I wasn't sure if it was to hide it from herself or if she was self conscious about others seeing it and commenting on it or asking about it. Perhaps it was a bit of both. I doubted I would ever ask; she'd bring it up if it was important. It then occurred to me that I was driving with no idea where I was heading.   
“Where are we off to next?” I turned the radio down a bit as the music was good enough to actually be distracting. She was finishing up what looked to be a text as she responded.  
“Well, I just confirmed my house is done, so I need to pick up my keys from my Realtor and then do my post-construction check and verify everything is good. This whole next week is going to be decluttering my storage units and flights and shopping. I took the whole week off so it wouldn't take the month.” She plugged the Realtor's address into the GPS in my car and she turned her music off so we could just talk and focus on the directions. We drove through a construction zone after a missed turn and laughed all the way until we got back on the correct route due to the GPS getting frustrated and confused. I started doing voices and mocking the crazy voice-over person. We started laughing over how people got the job to be a GPS voice-over person to begin with.   
“But, really, how do you even put that on a resume? Really? Have you ever thought about it? When you have a career day at school and the teacher asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, I can't imagine someone saying that they want to be Siri's voice.” I couldn't wrap my head around it.  
“What did you say when the teacher asked you then?” I wasn't used to the genuine interest of the question versus the usual generic variation I got in interviews.   
“D'y'know I don't actually recall. I get asked this all the time in interviews and if I'm honest I can't recall a time when I didn't want to pursue music in some way. It's been the real love of my life and passion for so long.” Despite the difference in the situation of the question, it was the truth either way. I never knew how to answer it otherwise. Both in looking back, and even now, I couldn't imagine a world in which music was not my career or my life. It had always been the only thing I was truly good at and felt right. It just had always made sense to me. Almost getting lost in my thoughts, it occurred to me that I hadn't asked her how she got into her current job. She'd said she was a YouTube manager.   
“What part of YouTube do you manage?”  
“So, I am a YouTuber manager. My clientele are various YouTubers and Vloggers on YouTube. “ That didn't sound too vastly different than what Stuart did for me. The difference was he solely my manager.  
“You don't work for YouTube then?” I didn't even know they had managers. I had just assumed they did it all themselves like I had before Stuart took over. I still did most of social media managing and YouTube for the most part.   
“No, I work on a clientele basis. I have about 300 right now. That's why I am attached to my devices a lot. It's also why I travel a lot. Like I said, it was the primary reason I moved. Only 20 are non-UK based so it just made sense to me.” I could tell in the way she talked about her job that she was a work-a-holic like me. She loved it. It was a distraction on bad days and gave you a sense of independence.   
“How is that not overwhelming with that many clients?” I drive Stuart absolutely crazy with just me. He'd scream with even one more person to handle.   
“I seldom see them all physically. I schedule video chats with the ones I need to see for check-ins monthly. Everything else is all email or text depending on the specific client and what they specifically do on YouTube. For example, my clients with a more established group of followers and subscribers don't require as my attention as much as those who just created their channel last week. The smaller channels I have to watch more closely and guide.”  
I had always managed myself completely until I got Stuart so I understood how hard that was with just one. I couldn't completely get or understand how she knew which clients to give more freedom to than others. I guess she had just been doing this long enough that it was normal for her.   
“This makes no sense to you, does it?” She was a near to the point of laugh again as she asked me. I understood to some capacity, but I was definitely interested in learning more about it; though I wasn't entirely sure why.   
“No, it does a bit, but I am sure as I get to see you in your element more the rest will all add up. I'm a work-a-holic too so I get that aspect of it.” We joined hands as we drove the rest of the way to my Realtor's office in downtown London.


End file.
